Band Geeks IMPACT Wrestling Style
by DanDJohnMLover
Summary: Eric Bischoff decides for form a band to impress his rival. Will he succeed or will he fail? Parody of a Spongebob Squarepants episode.


Hey peoples! I've had this idea in my head for a while and now I finally did it! It's an IMPACT Wrestling parody of a Spongebob episode! Now, I know this is a stupid idea, but I did it anyway because people have been doing it with other shows. So enjoy and let me know what you think!

Vince McMahon of WWE makes an appearance. I don't own anything!

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><p><strong>Band Geeks- IMPACT Wrestling Style<strong>

One day in Orlando at Universal Studios, Eric Bischoff was in Immortal's office (and was the only one in the building right now) playing his clarinet, which sounded awful! There was then a knock at the door. Eric opened it up and there was a doctor standing there.

"Yeah, uh, we're from the animal hospital across the street. I understand you have a dying animal in the building." The doctor said.

Eric slammed the door shut, and that's when his cell phone rang.

"Hello. You reached the area of unrecognized talent. Please leave a message after the…" Eric blows his clarinet in the phone.

"Sounds as though you've got a dying animal in the building. Eh, old pal?" The voice on the phone said.

Eric gasped, "Vince McMahon from WWE! Why are you calling me?"

Vince answered, "I'm the leader of a big band now. And we're supposed to play the Wrestle Bowl next week!"

"Wr-wr-wr-wr…wr-wr-wr-wr…wr-wr-wr-wr!" Eric couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"That's right!" Vince teased. "The problem is, we'll be out of town next week and can't make it. So I was hoping you and your band could cover for us."

"Oh. Um…I-I-I…uh-" Eric stuttered.

"I knew it!" Vince said. "You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the show now."

"HOLD IT!" Eric shouted into the phone. "I DO have a band! We're going to play that Wrestle Bowl! How do you like that, Vince Boy?"

Vince replied, "Good luck next Thursday! I hope the audience brings lots of…PAIN PILLS!"

Both men hung up. Eric started to think.

"I've got to drum up a band fast!" Eric thought to himself. He chuckled, "Drum. Band humor."

_**Later:**_

Mickie James was walking in the IMPACT zone when she saw a poster.

She read, "Looking to add fulfillment to your dull life?"

Bully Ray read the poster, "Then become part of the biggest music sensation ever to hit IMPACT Wrestling."

Karen Jarrett read, "And be adored by thousands of fans."

Hulk Hogan was sitting on the toilet reading, "Not to mention, free refreshments."

Kazarian was in the shower as he read, "Practice begins tonight, 8:30 sharp."

_**8:35 PM **_

Eric was on his way back to Universal Studios after he picked up the instruments.

"Stupid music rental clerk made me late!" He grumbled. "That idiot didn't even know an oboe from an elbow!" He chuckled to himself. "Elbow. More band humor."

Inside the arena, the ring was replaced with chairs and almost all of the IMPACT wrestlers and knockouts were there. Everyone was talking to one another, although it sounded like they were saying, "Blah, blah, blah, blah."

"Okay people, settle down!" Eric called out, making everyone quiet. "Okay now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?"

"Do instruments of beating up people count?" Bully Ray asked.

"No." answered Eric.

James Storm raised his hand. "Is beer an instrument?"

Eric answered, "No James, beer is not an instrument." James raised his hand again. "Horse radish is not an instrument either." He sighed. "That's fine, no one has experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you!"

Eric started laughing. "All of you!" He continued to laugh, but stopped when they weren't laughing with him.

"When do we get the food?" Hulk asked.

"Okay. Try to repeat after me." Eric picks up his clarinet and plays the music. "Brass section, go!" At the command, Madison Rayne, Rob Van Dam, and AJ Styles copy the music with their trumpets and trombones. "Good! Now the wind!" Brooke Tessmacher, Sarita, and Eric Young played their flutes. "And the drums!" Matt Morgan, Robert Roode, and Tara put their drumsticks in their mouths and try to blow them, but the drumsticks accidentally hit Eric.

"Too bad that didn't kill me." Eric said, hanging onto the wall by the drumsticks.

_**Later:**_

"Let's try stepping in rhythm." Eric called out. "I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five."

"Is this the part where we start kicking?" Robert asked.

"No Robert, that's a chorus line." Eric answered.

James shouted, "Kicking? I want to do some kicking!" He kicks Mickie in the leg.

This makes her angry. "Why you…! WHY I OUHGTA…!" Mickie tackles him and the two begin fighting cartoon style, including the fight cloud. The two make it outside, then it ends when James screams.

There is an awkward silence as James's head appears in the door.

"Whoever's the owner of the green van, you left your lights on." James enters back in, who now has a trombone for a neck. As James walks, the instrument plays a note at every footstep he takes. He sits down, he opens his mouth and the trombone honks.

_**Day Two**_

Everyone is in the street, learning how to march.

"Alright everyone, that's perfect! Here we come, Wrestle Bowl!" Eric commented on the band as they turned. He looked at Hernandez and Anarchia, who were twirling the flags.

"Flag twirlers, go faster! I need more spinning! Move!"

Hernandez and Anarchia spin their flags so fast that it sends them flying into the air. The band looks as they crash into a blimp in the sky. Along with the blimp, Hernandez and Anarchia explode too. AJ plays a funeral song on the trumpet and the band closes their eyes in respect. Eric lays on the ground.

_**Day Three**_

As the other people practice, Eric talks to Bully Ray.

"How's the harmonica solo coming, Ray?"

"It's going great!" Ray responded. "You want to see?"

Ray goes over to the harmonica. But the harmonica is not a normal sized one, it is as big as a bus! He blows the first note, then he runs and does the second. He does three notes on one blow and he tiredly walks to the last note. As he finishes, he passes out.

_**Day Four**_

Eric is with everyone in the arena.

"Well everyone, this is our last night before the show. And I know none of you improved since we began."

Everyone looks at James, who is chewing on his trumpet.

Eric continues. "But I have a theory. People talk loud when they want to act smart, right?"

"CORRECT!" Bully Ray shouts.

"So if we play loud, the audience might think we're good. Everybody ready?" The band readied their instruments. "And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!"

The band's music is very loud, so loud that the windows break! They still sound bad! Eric's hair is now blown back due to the force of the music.

"Okay, new theory." Eric sighed. "Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us."

Ken Anderson shouted, "Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try and play with old, rusty arms!"

"What did you say, punk?" Hulk asked angrily.

"Old…rusty…ARMS!" Anderson yelled.

"Well these old arms are not that rusty!" Hulk yelled back, getting prepared for a fight.

"Bring it on, Hulkster! Bring it on!" Anderson shouted.

Robert got between them. "No! Let's be smart and bring it off!"

"Oh! So now the money guy is going to preach to us!" Velvet Sky said.

"Wait! Wait!" Eric tries to calm everyone down. "I know tensions are high."

But Eric's words don't work as a fight breaks out. Samoa Joe grabs a trumpet and threatens to hit Kazarian with it, but Christopher Daniels slams him with a drum.

"There's a deposit on the instruments!" Eric shouted across the fight.

Anderson and Hulk grab clarinets and charge towards each other. But they stop when Karen stands in the middle and hits them in the face with cymbals. Mickie grabs a drumstick and is about to attack Austin Aries with it, until James kicks her from behind. Mickie grabs a trombone and threatens James, causing him to run. The fight continues until the clock reaches 10:00.

"Hey, class is over." Alex Shelley said as everyone got up and headed towards the door. But Eric is standing there.

"Well, you did it. You took my one chance at a band and…crushed it! Crushed it into little tiny bite-sized pieces! I am really disappointed in all of you! Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all…died in a marching accident. So thanks, for nothing!" Eric leaves the arena, crying.

"You're welcome." James said.

Robert is disappointed as well. "What kind of monsters are we? That man came to us and needs help, and we failed him. Eric has been there for us when we needed him."

Robert walked over to Madison. "Madison, when your dog was caught in a fire, who rescued it?"

"A fireman." Madison answered.

"And Kazarian, when you passed out after that Ultimate X match, who revived you?" Robert asked to Kazarian.

"Some guy in an ambulance." Kazarian answered.

"So if we pretend that Eric was a fireman or some guy in an ambulance, then maybe it can show us what it really feels to be in a marching band."

"Yeah for the fireman!" Eric Young shouts as everyone cheers.

Robert moves in front of everyone. "Now let's make Eric proud. A one, a two, a one two three four!"

_**Next Day:**_

Eric was walking towards the Wrestle Bowl.

"I knew this was going to happen. They're gonna have to find another band to play. I just hope that…" Eric sees Vince standing in front of him. "VINCE DOESN'T FIND OUT! VINCE! AHHH! What are you doing here?"

Vince laughs, "I just wanted to watch you fail. So, where's your band?"

Eric struggled for words. "Uh…they couldn't come…they…died."

"Then who's that?" Vince pointed behind Eric. There was the band, wearing blue and black band uniforms.

Eric's eyes bugged out of his head. "THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!"

"We're ready to perform, Eric." Robert said.

"Well Eric, this is how I pictured your band would look." Vince said as Robert was doing a little dance.

"That's his…eager face." Eric said as he and the band went into the stadium, with Vince laughing behind them. "I guess this will be the last time I can show my face in this town."

"That's the spirit!" Eric Young said.

As they enter the stadium, the announcer calls out, "Okay wrestling fans, put your hands together for the IMPACT Wrestling Super Band!" Fans in the stadium are cheering for them.

"These are some ugly looking people." James commented.

"Maybe we're near one of those waste dumps." Robert added.

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Hulk said.

Eric stood in front of the band. "Okay everybody." He looked at Vince, who was grinning. Eric, scared, began counting. "One, two, three, four…"

The trumpet players played their trumpets, which sounded surprisingly good. Eric opened his eyes in surprise. Then, the song begins and Robert begins singing.

**_So you think you'll take another piece of me _**  
><strong><em>To satisfy your intellectual need <em>**  
><strong><em>Do you want, do you want...Action? <em>**  
><strong><em> Gonna bring you down cause you're pushin' me <em>**  
><strong><em>You gotta recognize my superiority <em>**

**_Liar, liar _**  
><strong><em>You know you believed it <em>**  
><strong><em>Liar, liar <em>**  
><strong><em>Cause I'm the main man <em>**  
><strong><em>And that's why... <em>**

Kazarian joins Robert here in the chorus with the singing.

**_Everybody wants a piece of the action _**  
><strong><em>Everybody needs a main attraction<em>**

_**I got what everybody needs **_  
><em><strong>Satisfaction guaranteed <strong>_  
><em><strong>Everybody wants a piece of the action<strong>_

Vince is so shocked he passes out, having medics take him out. Eric joins in with the band.

**_I was suicidal cause she was my idol _**  
><strong><em>Baby baby baby bring it to your knees <em>**  
><strong><em>Well there was a time I would have walked the line <em>**  
><strong><em>Don't you bring me down with your insatiable greed<em>**

**_Liar, liar _**  
><strong><em>You know you believed it <em>**  
><strong><em>Liar, liar <em>**  
><strong><em>Cause I'm the main man <em>**  
><strong><em>And that's why... <em>**

**_Everybody wants a piece of the action _**  
><strong><em>Everybody needs a main attraction<em>**

**_I got what everybody needs _**  
><strong><em>Satisfaction guaranteed <em>**  
><strong><em>Everybody wants a piece of the action<em>**

As the show fades out, Eric takes a big jump in the air.

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><p>There you have it! My first parody! For some odd reason, I think Eric is a good Squidward. And Robert and James as Spongebob and Patrick (Hey! Couldn't think of anyone else!).<p>

Oh, and the song they play is Action by Def Leppard. I would listen to the song to get the full image of the IMPACT roster rockin' out to this song. PM me if you want to know what all the wrestlers play in the band.

I'm thinking of paroding Chocolate With Nuts next. :)

***Edit* **I fixed this up a little bit.


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